I need to stop being so self destructive. This is just getting worse and worse and it’s not helping me at all. 

Sorry I didn’t do my homework I was busy trying not to kill myself

I wonder if everyone will leave me before I do.

I wish I wasn’t so skeptical about fucking everything
It’s no wonder I have trust ‘issues’ or whatever
I push everyone away.

I can’t seem to the find the words
For what I feel right now
I am thinking about life and death
and what it all means
If we were simply born to die, then why live?
Why do we wake up everyday?
What makes us open our eyes in the morning?
What keeps us going?
I don’t know whats keeping me going
I honestly couldn’t say
Sometimes I sit alone and just think
And all my heavy thoughts come out
They tell me there’s no God, that hope is lost
And I should just give up
My thoughts are the worst part of me
They lift me into the darkness and I don’t come out for days
My thoughts will kill me one day, eventually
They’ll further their strain on my body and mind
They will choke the life out of me
Untill I don’t even have a life left

(Source: yourloveisburningthecity)

I hurt so much. I don’t know why, but there is just something inside me that throbs with pain. It hurts so much that I feel alone when surrounded by friends. I feel like I am worthless, meaningless and disappointing to everyone in my life . I have people who love me I guess maybe, but they don’t really. But I feel like I am dying inside. I just want to crawl into a corner and shut out the world and hope that everything will go away. But why? What bothers me the most is that I have been engulfed by hopelessness and sadness, but for no reason that I can find. I don’t even know how to explain the way I feel. I put on a show and do everything I can to keep the ones I love happy. But, I fake a smile every single day of my life. I want to scream for help; for someone to tell me what the hell is wrong with me. I get so sad that crying isn’t even enough anymore, and I just smile. I just seem to hate myself and everything that I have become, and I don’t know how to change that. I don’t care if I’m happy or not. I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m so tired of hurting and I sound really annoying right now so bye. 

life is like an empty fog
in a full, busy road
you can’t see up ahead
you can’t see what’s coming next
make a turn in the wrong direction,
then something comes your way
slowing everything down…
you couldn’t see it coming, 
but you can see it now.
and there’s the crash.

everything falls apart.

I need someone to talk to. 
Everyone sucks. 
No one cares.  
I don’t really want to talk to anyone I know anyway.
Cause that just sucks even more.
Actually I don’t want to talk to anyone.　
Ugh.